一、突然瘦了
我曾經是一個很相信「科學」的年輕人。
那是信息爆炸的年代，我整天眼睛盯著電腦和手機，刷各種短影音，追各種信息，生怕漏掉任何一條自己覺得重要的消息。花掉大量的時間和精力，每天忙忙碌碌，看起來很充實，其實也很疲憊。不過身體一直正常運轉，沒有什麼異常，我也就沒放在心上。
直到有一天，家人對我說：你怎麼突然瘦了這麼多？
那是疫情肆虐的第三年。
我自己也感覺不對勁：精力下降了許多，入睡開始變得困難，就算睡著了，睡眠質量也很差。體重明顯下降，白頭髮越來越多，胳膊和身上這幾年還經常冒出一些紅色的小點點。
二、四處求醫
西醫
我拖了大約半年之後，在家人的強烈要求下，開始了艱難而且昂貴的求醫問藥征程。
我所在的城市有相當多高水平的醫療資源。附近幾家大型醫院，都是西醫，我都做了全身檢查。看著已經很瘦弱的手臂，被抽走N多管鮮血送去化驗，真的很心疼。
然後又是一系列的高科技機器掃描、檢測：排隊、取號、等待檢查、等候報告，過程疲累又讓人焦急，去過醫院就診的朋友們，相信都有切身的感受。
最後，多位穿著白大褂的專業醫生告訴我，沒有發現什麼特別的異常，只是有一些小問題，影響不大。
我非常迷惑。
連這些經過多年科學訓練的專業醫生，也有些迷茫，他們建議我再做腸鏡，以便排除大腸癌。
之前那一大堆檢查裡面，醫生們的檢查清單其實是包含癌細胞檢測的，結果沒有發現異常。不過後來別的醫生朋友告訴我，那個檢測經常不準確，只能參考。我的醫生朋友也說，我這個年齡可以定期篩查大腸癌，以便早期發現和治療。
那就做吧。
腸鏡：我發誓不想再來第二次
沒想到，這是我終身難忘的一次最痛苦的檢查。我發誓再也不願意體驗第二次，就算有人給我鉅額的報酬，我也不願意。
排隊繳費、約好檢查時間之後，護士小姐給了我幾個藥包，讓我半夜每隔幾小時起來喝一袋，好像有好幾種，要混合起來一起喝，一直喝到天亮，早飯不能吃，直接去醫院等著做腸鏡。
那幾種混合起來的藥水，不知道是什麼成分，但毫無疑問是高科技勾兌的化學藥水，難喝的程度，超過我過去喝過的任何東西，沒有之一。我到現在還記得那幾大包藥粉，勾兌出來還要求是好幾大杯，每次一大杯，難喝到極點，還量大管飽。半夜每隔幾小時就要起來喝一次，我多次反胃嘔吐，好幾次都想中途放棄，不做這個勞什子檢查了。但高昂的檢查費已經交了，病因也還沒查出來，只能硬著頭皮咬牙繼續喝下去。
第二天早上的檢查倒是很簡單，沒有多少痛苦。我懷著忐忑不安的心情，被注射了一管麻藥，就什麼也不知道了。
醒來之後，幫我檢查的女醫生溫柔地告訴我：恭喜你，大腸沒有癌變，一切正常！
白大褂的醫生們在辦公室面帶微笑地告訴我：沒有發現重大問題，基本正常，回去注意休息和調養即可。
我和家人商量，既然這家大醫院沒有發現，要不要再去別的更大的醫院碰碰運氣？
又花了幾千大洋的血汗錢，又遭受了各種難以承受的痛苦，我們踏上了另外幾家大型醫院的檢查之路。再次經過人山人海、繁榮興旺的幾家大型醫療機構的專業診斷和檢查，結論和第一家差不多：沒什麼明顯問題，各項指標基本正常。
這下，我和家人都迷茫了。
「神醫」
在接下來的一個多月裡，身體還在繼續下滑，精力繼續下降，睡眠變差，不過胃口倒是很好。
一位朋友聽說了我的情況，向我推薦了她們家族御用的中醫師，對這位醫師的醫術推崇備至。
我們當然滿懷希望。我拖著疲憊虛弱的身體，開車一個多小時，趕到這位「神醫」的診所，畢恭畢敬地等候。「神醫」名氣很大，五十多歲的樣子，個子不高，但很健碩（不久前聽夫人說，這位神醫突然中風了，所幸沒有性命危險，感謝上天）。慕名而來的病人不少，排在我前面的大概有十多位。漫長地等了兩三個小時，終於輪到我了。
把脈、問診之後，「神醫」告訴我：腎氣不足，導致脾胃虛弱，所以消瘦和睡眠有問題。他給我開了一週的藥方，說先吃一週再來看。我看了一下藥方，很多昂貴的補藥，龜甲之類的，費用當然也極其昂貴。另外，還要我每週去做三次艾灸。
吃了幾天「神醫」的中藥，睡眠有所改善，半夜醒來的次數漸漸變少，睡得也比以前好一些。
我們一家人很開心，慶幸終於找到這樣一位「神醫」。雖然收費極其昂貴，讓本來就不寬裕的經濟狀況雪上加霜，但我們都對康復重新燃起了希望。
接下來的幾週，「神醫」又給我開了一個月的藥方，費用當然一次比一次昂貴。
一個月之後，準確地說是第二週之後，身體的反應就不那麼明顯了。我們懷著「繼續試試看」的心態又試了幾次，但昂貴的醫療費用實在讓我們無法承受。我向家人提出暫停這位「神醫」的治療：我們這種家庭，尤其是在目前經濟普遍低迷的市況之下，真的承受不起這樣昂貴的高消費。
辟穀
接下來幾天，我在網絡上到處尋找辟穀的信息。我從小就喜歡道家文化，知道辟穀是恢復身體的好辦法，但沒有師傅指導，加上我身體虛弱，不敢貿然嘗試。
我附近的商業辟穀機構倒是有幾家，但收費都是一次幾千上萬元，也不知道水平如何。
功夫不負有心人，我終於找到一個「免費」教辟穀的組織。（這裡面的故事，以後有時間我再透過文章分享。）
好消息是，進入這個「免費」辟穀組織學習的幾天裡，我的體重竟然神奇地上升了兩公斤。而之前在「神醫」那裡吃了一個月昂貴的中藥，體重不但沒有上升，反而還下降了一兩公斤。這個結果讓我深受鼓舞。
當然，因為我身體過於虛弱，組織的老師們認為我暫時不適合辟穀，需要先練習他們的方法一年，看身體恢復的情況，再決定是否辟穀。現在回頭看，老師們的看法是正確的。
又過了幾個月，我的身體還在繼續下滑，越來越虛弱。我和家人又先後找了當地鼎鼎有名的大型中醫機構、著名中醫、民間名中醫等等，嘗試了各種中醫藥方，花費也不便宜，不過第一位「神醫」始終是最昂貴的。
這樣前前後後治療了快一年，身體沒有多少明顯的改善，體重一直停在低位，胃口不錯，人卻很消瘦，睡眠也時好時壞。夏天悶熱，身上老是出黏黏的汗，那段時間我每天必須洗三次以上的澡，不然渾身不舒服。
三、最糟糕的時候
前面那些檢查和藥方，我講得有點輕鬆。但有些時候，真的一點也不好笑。
四處求醫的過程中，病情整體還算穩定，只是有幾次、有幾段時間，特別虛弱，那種無力感特別強烈。
最糟糕的時候，除了消瘦虛弱，白天下樓走路都沒有力氣，打電話說幾分鐘話，也累得撐不下去。晚上睡覺，感覺前胸貼後背，像在沙漠高溫炙烤之下皮膚收縮的那種緊縮感，讓人恐懼，也讓人窒息，睡眠當然也受影響。
有好幾次，夫人陪我晚飯後散步，走十多分鐘，我就累得不行。
後來到了山裡，有好幾次劈柴大概半個小時，就累上好幾天。有段時間夏天，因為在吃中藥，偶爾感覺狀態不錯，以為在恢復，我又去做幾組俯臥撐、深蹲和腹肌輪，數量只有以前正常健身訓練的一半，當時沒什麼感覺，第二天就虛弱疲累得不行。
這一切，讓我真正有一種武俠小說裡「武功和內力盡失」的感覺。
四、道緣
也許我生來與道家有緣。
在身體突然下滑之前，我對道家的修行功法和道醫就一直很有興趣，前前後後斷斷續續學過、練過四五年。只不過那時身體健康，沒有緊迫感，純粹是喜歡和好奇，沒有每天堅持，大多淺嘗輒止，練練停停。生病之後，練習的頻率才一點一點多起來。
為了讓身體儘快好起來，我開始更積極地尋找各種對身體有幫助的方法，包括中醫、道醫，也包括很多民間的自然療法，這些對我自己和家人的身體健康，都有了明顯的改善。
四處求醫沒有明顯改善之後，我一邊認真恢復練習過去學過的道家功法，一邊尋找安靜的修行之地。我逐漸明白，如今所謂的醫學，對我的身體狀況幫助有限，我只能回歸自然，依靠天地的能量，來修復受損的身心。
這也是我從繁華的都市，搬到安靜深山的主要原因。
幸運的是，我的家人大力支持我這些在大多數人看來離奇古怪的想法。雖然有些地方他們也不能完全理解，但看到我四處求醫、身體始終沒有起色，他們一樣擔憂。
拜訪名師
進山之前，我拜訪了幾位名師，學習了多種道家養生功法。其中一種功法，我練了一個多月，身體狀態就出現了明顯改善的跡象，我和家人都非常欣喜。
我願意住到山裡簡陋的環境裡，是希望在一個安靜的地方，放下各種電子產品的干擾，吃相對安全的食物，給身體一個自然的環境，吸收天地的能量，讓它從虛弱中，慢慢自己修復。
現在我學習的功法和收集的調養手段，已經非常豐富，豐富到我每天都覺得時間不夠用，沒辦法全部練習，只能挑其中我認為效果明顯的來練。在山裡，我每天早晚和空閒的時間都要練功。不過空閒時間其實不多，總有幹不完的活，時間比在城裡還緊張。
五、身體開始轉變
我的身體開始轉變，是從其中一位師傅傳授的養生功法開始的。
練了大概一個多月，睡眠質量明顯變好，入睡難、多夢、半夜容易醒這些現象明顯減少，每天的精氣神也開始一點一點回來，力量感和信心感明顯增加。這是我吃過的那些藥、做過的那些檢查都沒能帶給我的，自己的身體自己就能感受到。
更重要的是，長期困擾我的大便不成型，也開始好轉了。
這一切變化，讓我感受到，我堅持回歸深山的這條路，對我來說是對的。
當然，這個過程裡我也遇到過很多挫折，踩過很多坑，花了不少冤枉錢。以後有機會，再慢慢和朋友們分享。
六、康復，正在路上
儘管這個過程艱辛曲折，我特別感謝我的家人，他們一直是我身後堅強的後盾，支持我走到今天。
非常幸運，感謝上天。我在山裡住了大約半年，中間也斷斷續續回過城市，身體的感受還是山裡比較舒服放鬆，也漸漸進入了康復的軌道。距離完全康復還有很長的路，但我會繼續堅持，我相信這對我來說，是唯一正確的路。
我之所以選擇在網路上公開自己的經歷，是希望和我有類似遭遇的朋友，在身體遇到醫學無能為力的問題時，能從我身上看到：我們的身體是非常聰明的，在正確的方法和環境下，它有自己修復的能力。
我希望你也能從我的故事裡，汲取一點能量和力量。我願意相信，身體本來就是生自具足的，身體的問題只是暫時的障礙，找對方法，給它時間，它會慢慢好起來。我自己，就是這樣一步一步走過來的。
我不是大師，也不是高人，我只是一位在深山裡的道家修行者，也可以說是健康路上的先行者。修行的路還很長，我願意做一盞小小的燈，順便告訴你，我踩過哪些坑。
我也不是網紅，不是靠自媒體謀生的人。我每天主要是修行和幹農活，有空才能上網更新文章或影片，所以更新不一定頻繁，請朋友們包涵。
感謝你讀到這裡，祝你好運，身體健康，闔家幸福！
1. Suddenly Thin
I used to be a young man who believed firmly in “science.”
It was the age of information overload. I spent my days with my eyes glued to a computer or phone, scrolling short videos and chasing news, afraid of missing anything I thought was important. I poured huge amounts of time and energy into it. I was busy all day, which looked productive, but I was exhausted too. Still, my body kept running normally, with nothing unusual, so I never gave it a thought.
Then one day my family said to me: “Why have you suddenly gotten so thin?”
That was the third year of the pandemic.
I felt something was off too. My energy had dropped a lot, falling asleep had become hard, and even when I did sleep, the quality was poor. I was losing weight noticeably, my hair was turning white faster, and over the past few years little red spots kept appearing on my arms and body.
2. Seeking Help Everywhere
Western Medicine
I put it off for about half a year. Then, at my family’s insistent urging, I began a difficult and expensive journey of doctors and medicine.
The city where I live has plenty of high-level medical resources. I had full-body checkups at several large hospitals nearby, all Western medicine. I looked at my arm, already thin and frail, as tube after tube of blood was drawn for testing, and it honestly hurt to watch.
Then came a series of high-tech scans and tests: queuing, taking a number, waiting for the exam, waiting for the report. The whole process is exhausting and anxious, as anyone who has been to a hospital will know.
In the end, several professional doctors in white coats told me they had found nothing particularly abnormal, only a few minor issues that didn’t matter much.
I was baffled.
Even these doctors, trained in science for many years, seemed a little lost. They suggested I have a colonoscopy to rule out colon cancer.
In that huge pile of earlier tests, the doctors’ checklist had in fact included a cancer marker test, and it showed nothing unusual. But I later heard from other doctor friends that this test is often inaccurate and can only serve as a reference. My doctor friend also said that at my age, regular colon cancer screening was reasonable, for early detection and treatment.
So I decided to do it.
The Colonoscopy: Never Again
I never expected it to be the most painful exam of my life, one I will never forget. I swore I would never go through it a second time, not even if someone paid me a fortune.
After queuing, paying, and booking the time, the nurse gave me several packets of powder and told me to get up every few hours in the middle of the night and drink one. There seemed to be several kinds, to be mixed together, and I was to keep drinking until morning, skip breakfast, and go straight to the hospital to wait for the procedure.
I have no idea what was in that mixed liquid, but it was without doubt a high-tech chemical concoction, and it tasted worse than anything I had ever drunk, bar none. I still remember those big packets of powder, mixed into several big cups, one big cup each time, unbelievably bad, and a huge volume on top of it. Every few hours in the middle of the night I had to get up and drink again. I retched and vomited several times, and more than once I wanted to quit halfway and skip this wretched exam. But the expensive fee was already paid and the cause of my illness still hadn’t been found, so I gritted my teeth and kept drinking.
The exam itself the next morning was simple enough, with little pain. Anxious and uneasy, I was given an injection of anesthetic, and then I knew nothing.
When I woke, the female doctor who had done the exam told me gently: “Congratulations, no cancer in your colon. Everything is normal!”
The doctors in white coats told me with smiles in their office: no major problem found, basically normal, go home, rest and look after yourself.
I talked it over with my family. Since this big hospital hadn’t found anything, should we try our luck at other, even bigger hospitals?
So we spent several thousand more yuan of hard-earned money and went through all kinds of unbearable suffering again, setting out on the exam trail at several more large hospitals. Once again, after the professional diagnosis and testing of several bustling, thriving, packed-with-people medical institutions, the conclusion was much the same as the first: no obvious problem, all indicators basically normal.
Now my family and I were truly lost.
The “Miracle Doctor”
Over the next month or so my body kept declining. My energy kept dropping and my sleep got worse, though my appetite stayed good.
A friend heard about my situation and recommended a practitioner of traditional Chinese medicine whom her whole family relied on, and she praised his skill to the skies.
Of course we were full of hope. Dragging my tired, frail body, I drove more than an hour to the clinic of this “miracle doctor” and waited respectfully. He was a famous name, in his fifties, not tall but sturdily built (I heard from my wife not long ago that this doctor suddenly had a stroke; thankfully it wasn’t life-threatening, and I thank heaven for that). Quite a few patients had come because of his reputation, with perhaps a dozen or more ahead of me. After a long wait of two or three hours, my turn finally came.
After taking my pulse and asking questions, the “miracle doctor” told me: deficient kidney qi, which weakened my spleen and stomach, hence the weight loss and sleep problems. He wrote me a one-week prescription and said to take it for a week and then come back. I looked at it: lots of expensive tonics, tortoise shell and the like, with a price tag to match. He also wanted me to come for moxibustion three times a week.
After a few days on the “miracle doctor’s” herbs, my sleep improved. I woke up less in the night and slept somewhat better than before.
My family was delighted, glad to have finally found such a “miracle doctor.” Though the fees were extremely high and made our already tight finances even worse, all of us had hope for recovery again.
In the following weeks the “miracle doctor” prescribed another month of herbs, each time more expensive than the last.
A month later, or to be exact, after the second week, the effect was no longer so noticeable. With a “let’s keep trying” attitude we tried a few more times, but we simply could not afford the cost. I told my family I wanted to pause treatment with this “miracle doctor”: a family like ours, especially in the current weak economy, truly could not bear such expensive spending.
Bigu (Daoist Fasting)
A few days later, I searched the internet everywhere for information on bigu, the traditional Daoist practice of fasting. I have loved Daoist culture since childhood and knew bigu was a good way to restore the body, but without a teacher, and with my weak condition, I didn’t dare try it on my own.
There were a few commercial bigu centers near me, but they charged thousands or tens of thousands of yuan each time, and I had no idea of their quality.
Persistence pays off. I finally found an organization that taught bigu “for free.” (The story behind that is for another article, when I have time.)
The good news is that in the few days I studied with this “free” bigu group, my weight actually rose, miraculously, by two kilograms. After a month of expensive herbs from the “miracle doctor,” my weight hadn’t gone up at all; it had even dropped by a kilogram or two. This result encouraged me deeply.
Of course, because my body was too weak, the teachers there felt I was not yet suited to bigu and should first practice their methods for a year, then see how my body recovered before deciding. Looking back now, the teachers were right.
A few more months passed and my body kept declining, getting weaker and weaker. My family and I went on to see well-known large TCM institutions in the area, famous doctors, and respected local practitioners, trying all kinds of herbal prescriptions. They weren’t cheap either, though the first “miracle doctor” was always the most expensive.
After nearly a year of this on and off, there was little real improvement. My weight stayed low, my appetite was good but I was very thin, and my sleep was sometimes good and sometimes bad. In the stifling summer I sweated sticky sweat constantly, and for a while I had to shower more than three times a day or I couldn’t stand it.
3. The Worst of It
I’ve told the earlier parts a bit lightly. But some of those times were really not funny at all.
Throughout the search for help, my condition was fairly stable overall. It was just that on a few occasions, and during a few stretches, I was especially weak, and the sense of powerlessness was overwhelming.
At the worst, besides being thin and frail, I had no strength even to walk downstairs, and a few minutes on the phone left me too tired to go on. At night in bed I felt my chest pressed against my back, a tightening like skin shrinking under the scorching heat of a desert, a feeling that was frightening and suffocating, and of course my sleep suffered.
Several times my wife walked with me after dinner, and after ten-odd minutes I was exhausted.
Later, in the mountains, chopping firewood for about half an hour would wear me out for days. One summer, because I was taking herbal medicine, I felt good now and then and thought I was recovering, so I did a few sets of push-ups, squats and ab-wheel rollouts, only half of what I used to do in my normal workouts. It felt like nothing at the time, but the next day I was weak and exhausted beyond belief.
All of this gave me the real feeling, familiar from martial arts novels, of a hero whose skill and inner power are completely gone.
4. A Connection to the Dao
Perhaps I was simply born with a bond to the Dao.
Before my body suddenly declined, I had always been very interested in Daoist practices and Daoist medicine, and I had studied and practiced them on and off for four or five years. But I was healthy then, with no sense of urgency, and it was purely out of liking and curiosity. I didn’t practice every day, mostly dabbling and then stopping. Only after I fell ill did I start to practice more and more often.
To get my body better as soon as possible, I began looking harder for anything that might help, including traditional Chinese medicine, Daoist medicine, and many folk natural remedies. These brought clear improvement to my own health and my family’s.
After seeking help everywhere without real improvement, I took up again, in earnest, the Daoist practices I had learned, and began looking for a quiet place for cultivation. I gradually came to understand that what is called medicine today could do only so much for my condition, and that I had no choice but to return to nature and rely on the energy of heaven and earth to repair my damaged body and mind.
This is the main reason I moved from the bustling city to the quiet mountains.
Fortunately, my family strongly supports ideas that most people find strange. There are parts they can’t fully understand, but having watched me seek help everywhere with no improvement, they were worried too.
Visiting Teachers
Before going into the mountains, I visited several well-known teachers and learned a variety of Daoist health practices. After a little over a month with one of them, my condition showed clear signs of improvement, and my family and I were overjoyed.
I was willing to live in the simple conditions of the mountains because I hoped, in a quiet place, to put aside the interference of electronic devices, eat relatively safe food, and give my body a natural environment, to absorb the energy of heaven and earth and slowly repair itself from weakness.
The practices I’ve learned and the methods I’ve collected are now very rich, so rich that I feel I never have enough time and can’t practice them all, so I choose the ones I find most effective. In the mountains I practice every morning and evening and in any free time. But free time is actually scarce. There is always work to do, and I am even busier than I was in the city.
5. My Body Starts to Turn
My body began to change with a health practice taught by one of those teachers.
After about a month, my sleep quality clearly improved. Trouble falling asleep, vivid dreams, and waking in the night all clearly decreased. My energy and spirit slowly began to come back, and my sense of strength and confidence grew noticeably. None of the medicines I took or the tests I had done could give me this. You can feel it in your own body.
More important, the loose stools that had long troubled me began to improve.
All these changes made me feel that the path I insisted on, returning to the deep mountains, is the right one for me.
Of course, along the way I also met many setbacks, fell into many pits, and wasted quite a lot of money. When I have the chance, I’ll share those with you slowly.
6. Recovery, On the Way
However hard and winding this journey has been, I am especially grateful to my family, who have always been my strong support and carried me to today.
I am very fortunate, and I thank heaven. I’ve lived in the mountains for about half a year, going back to the city now and then. My body still feels more comfortable and relaxed in the mountains, and has gradually entered the path of recovery. There is still a long way to go before full recovery, but I will keep at it, and I believe it is the only right path for me.
I chose to make my experience public online because I hope that friends who have gone through something similar, when their bodies run into problems that medicine can’t solve, can see from me that our bodies are very wise, and given the right methods and environment, they have the ability to repair themselves.
I hope you can draw a little energy and strength from my story. I choose to believe that the body is complete in itself, that its problems are only temporary obstacles, and that with the right method and enough time, it will slowly get better. That is how I have come this far, one step at a time.
I’m not a master or a sage. I’m just a Daoist practitioner in the deep mountains, or you could say a traveler a little ahead on the road to health. The road of cultivation is still long. I’d like to be a small lamp and, while I’m at it, tell you which pits I fell into.
I’m also not an influencer, and I don’t make a living from social media. Most of my days go to cultivation and farm work, and I can only update articles or videos when I have time, so updates may not be frequent. Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for reading this far. I wish you good luck, good health, and happiness for your whole family!